Tuesday, February 13, 2007

"My name is Bond, James Bond, James Bond Dot Com!"

Shaking my hand very confidently he introduced himself,
"My name is Bond, James Bond, James Bond Dot Com!"
"Glad to see you, Mr.Bond!" I said. I was more than glad, i was shocked!
"But i was not expecting to see you here! What's up, man?" I asked him.
Ignoring my question he was already on his way
to that secluded corner where Shilpa Shetty was meditating!

"What's going on here? I have to find out." i started talking to myself.
True, this is a secret rehab, but it is not for 'secret agents'.
Definitely this is not for Mr. Bond. This is only for Shilpa, me
and a couple of others like us!

My consultant has strongly recommended this as a preventive therapy for me.
I am going to launch my Website and Blog in a couple of weeks.
So he wanted me to be mentally strong and emotionally well balanced
to face the realities of the live web world.

You are 'in the know'!
Since, you are already 'in the know', i hope, you can understand me.
Isn't it great 'to own' your own name?
Having your own name to your website with Top Level Domain, like Dot Com!
It has not only an emotional value but is also a great asset!
There are very few persons who own this asset.
I know one; Oprah! She has 'Oprah dot com'

Why am i telling all this to you? You have experienced it.
Generally it happens like this...1)You go on the net. 2)You enter your name
and hit the button. And 3)The 'search result breaks your heart.
What do you see? Karandikar, Bapat, Barve, Joshi,
Pandit, Patwardhan, Kukreja all are taken, gone, registered!
Your name is not 'available' to you!

But you are not ready to give up
You ask "How much? Tell me the price! I will buy my own name"
"Sorry sir, it is not for sale. Would you like to go for 'Chowgule' or 'Konduskar'?
Asking price is only 2,200 and 2,500 US Dollars.
Or 'Bhujbal'? Only for 220 US Dollars!"
No! You will not go for it even somebody gives it free.
Damn it, it is not your name. You want your own name.
(You know what happened to me?
Even "Ravi" was not available!)

WTF?: What's The Fire?
At the rehab everybody knew 'What's The Fire' was: Shilpa!
On the flight i had a heart to heart conversation about the issues
Shilpa was facing after that reality show on the TV channel.
So, I had made up my mind to let her cool.
But i didn't want Mr. Bond to bother her.
It was also not safe to let her be with him all by herself.
Particularly, when it is not final whether she will be in the next Bond film.
Yes, true, there was no couch in that corner of the rehab.
But, why take a risk? Culturally Bollywood and Hollywood are very close.

As a true responsible Indian citizen I went to that corner.
I felt so very ashamed of myself when i saw
what was going on there between the two of them.
I didn't know Mr. Bond carries a handkerchief in his pocket.
I had never seen him wiping eyes of a beautiful girl.
Here he was doing exactly that.He was wiping Shilpa's eyes!
That must be his handkerchief.
Shilpa was not wearing anything of that big a size on her at that time.
He was in her service. Sorry, her majesty, it happens, be realistic.

You are not safe even you have a license to kill!
"Come on Ravi, now i will tell you why i am here!"
Mr.Zero Zero Seven said to me.
"Thanks, but you don't have to tell. I got it very well"
I was relived and somewhat disappointed.
"No. You haven't. I am here for the same reasons both of you are." He mumbled.
"What are your worried about Mr. Bond? You are very safe.
You own not only 'dot com' but all possible known TLDs. Even you have 'dot as'
Perfect multiple domain name registration! Plus you have license to kill!
What more do you want Mr. Bond? You don't have any reason to be here except her.
Accept it Mr. Bond" I was sounding like Mr.Rajat Sharma.
"Ravi, those multiple domain registrations and license to kill is of no use
when all alone you have to face the Domain Resale Agents day in and day out!
Shilpa, i am here to work on this issue. Understand?" he was really upset,
i could see that.
So i decided to leave them by themselves.

Success is not cheap!
I was more focused on her big heart, so i am not hundred percent sure
about what was Shilpa's issue.
But after her sudden fame, Shilpa must have her 'own name' for her Domain.
But someone, who owned her name, was demanding exorbitant amount
or something like that.
So she was somewhat upset, no, not because of the amount of money;
she smelled some discrimination issue in this too!
Her logic was, when even her astrologer failed to predict;
"How could, in 2003 itself, somebody from California imagine that
she would become world famous in 2007?"
I don't disagree with her, but even 'Shetty' is also not available.
And in this part of the world, i do not come across many Uduppi restaurants.
Sad but true, you have to pay a heavy price for success.

See my Vision!
Thank god, i knew this and i had planned out everything in advance.
I may not have registered my name as a brand name
with trade mark like Mr. Bobby Parson of Go Daddy dot com.
I may not be as brand conscious as Mr. Donald Trump or Mr. Richard Bronson is.
Neither do i have the backing of a big studio nor have i Mr. M like Mr. Bond has.

But see what i have done!
I had registered my domain name long time back.
Today, website designing is almost done.
And in a couple of weeks it will be up and running!
"Ravi Karandeekar Dot Com"
Isn't it great!

Let us keep it all in the family!
On the way back from my secret rehab, i was all alone on the flight.
I had no idea where Mr. Bond and Shilpa were going to go from there.
I didn't bother about them much because i was thinking
about all of you, my brothers and sisters.
Thanks to Mr. Bond. After talking to him,
i have conceived a great plan.

Listen, we all care more for our surnames
than our first names, right?
And dot com TLD is not available, right?
But we are not all alone like Mr. Bond.
We all have siblings all over the planet.
So why not register all available TLDs in our surnames?
My brother Bhushan will own 'karandikar dot au',
Sunil can be ' karandikar dot uk', Manoj - 'karandikar dot as' .and so on...
By adding all TLDs our surname will remain in our family!

Long live Mr. Bond!
Politically, you know, it is always correct
to give credit to somebody else!
So why not both of us shout very loudly,
"Thanks Mr. Bond, you live 100 years!"

After all, both of us know 'Domain Name'
can be registered for a maximum period of 100 years only.
After that, who knows, Chinmoy,
my son will introduce himself,
"My name is Bond, James Bond, James Bond Dot Com!"

1 comment:

  1. Hi Ravi,
    Came to know yesterday that you have started a blog.So logged in today. It is rather intriguing, but will following it to see how it develops.
    Congrats and all the best.

    You may visit my blog too
    Ganobas blog